Will this pain ever go away?

I have a pain so deep you'll never see..
I locked it away and hide the key..

If I ever really could share it.
You wouldn't look at me the same I swear it..

I've seen things I shouldn't have to see..
But the only one who ever knew was me..

I faked a smile everyday..
For I couldn't stand for you to see me this way..

I buried my emotions deep inside my soul..
It's this hate I have that keeps me whole..

If I ever truly showed you what's inside..
I'd run away fast and quickly hide..
No matter where I go these feelings stay inside..

All I want to do is close my eyes..
It's like an eternal torture that
never dies..

These voices that fill my head..
Telling me I'm way better off dead..

This pain of living hurts my heart..
Should I have ended it from the start?

It's like when I get home I take off a mask..
Faking happiness is nearly an
impossible task..

But some how I manage to get by..
Going through everyday about to cry..

One day maybe it'll be okay..
But of course that day is not today..

How much blood can I shed?
Before I'm lying on the floor dead?

Will this pain ever go away?
Maybe tomorrow but not today...

I want 2 say That..

I wanted 2 say That..

don't speak a word,
let me stare at you tonight.
come more closer baby,
let me lose me in your eyes.

the winking light,
says hold my hand,
cause i need you by my side..
the twinkling night,
in no mans land,
with no place there to hide..

don't run away,
i wanna hold you in my arms.
peck you on your cheeks,
cause i know that you're my charm.

those unsaid words,
that i want to say,
that you make me feel so numb.

I hide my pain..

I hide my pain..
Although its making me go insane..
I will never show you..
You will never know what I am going
through..
Why can't you understand what you
are for me.?
Come back in my life and bring me
glee..
I scream out..
But there is no one to listen..
All I have got is pain.,agony and
frustration..
Once you filled my life with happiness..
You left me and now I am all filled with
numbness..
My feelings all broken and frozen..
I push forward..
But strong waves of my emotions..
Drown me in sea of tears..
I know you won't pick up..
But one day your phone will be
ringing..
And it will be my..Death call..

Smiling has always been easier than explaining y i’m sad

Just because my eyes do not show
tears,
doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry n i
don’t get hurt.
.
Just because I come out strong,
doesn’t mean there is nothing wrong.
.
Often I choose to pretend that i’m
happy.
.
So I don’t have to explain myself to
people
who’ll never understand.
.
Smiling has always been easier than
explaining y i’m sad…!!

Your love..Your memories..

Your love..Your memories..
Killing me..killing me slowly..softly..
Painfully it keeps going an going..
Breaking me into timid sections..
I sit an yell..I feel so alone..

I feel like a pathetic waste..
Lost in a sea of lies and fake promises..
My feelings..My love..
Burn everyday..and flows in the wind..
All I can do is to yell..to scream..to
pretend..

The thoughts of isolation..
The thoughts of abandonment..
When are they going to end.?
I want to run away..
But this numbness holds my wrist..
Tries to slit my nerves..
People think I am insane..

No one understands.. My heart is
throbbing to the pain..
I try not to break my promises..
Whenever I think of you..
Just for you..Here I smile..

Beautiful memories of us makes me smile

I think of old times..
I used to wait for you..
And you used to come along..smiling..
And that used to make my day
shining..
Your deep eyes..your sweet voice..
But all I am left with is people giving
advice..

I wish I could let you know how much I
love you..
You broke me apart..
Screwed..silent..lost..afraid..
That is what you have made me..
I never knew that..apart we would ever
be..

Sadness fills my heart..
I move with the wisdom of what I have
been through..
I wouldn't change the past because it
brought me to you..
A tear drop of grief..
That taught me how to survive..

Beautiful memories of us makes me
smile..

love to Be Your Sweetest Stranger Forever

I Know Your Life Can Go On Without Me,
That You Can Be Happy Without Me,
That You Can Survive Without Me,
But Even If You Turn Me Away,
I Will Still Choose To Stay With You,

love to Be Your Sweetest Stranger Forever....:'(

Looking back on everything

Looking back on everything,
I still remember her smile...
I wish things didn't end so soon,
And turn back time for awhile....

No matter how much it hurts,
I still love her so...
A part of me needs her so much,
Can't seem to let her go....

Knowing I won't be able to see her,
Makes my heart cry out in pain....
I can't believe we won't talk anymore,
The thought makes me wanna go
insane....

She was my reason for waking up,
For the smile you see on my face....
Going a single day without her,
Makes me feel so out of place....

I was afraid of opening up,
Now I'm afraid of the next day....
Whenever I see her one last time,
I'm terrified of what she may say.....

I know tomorrow will hurt,
But the tears will fade away....
Life is too short for regrets,
There will be a brighter day....

But when I see her one last time,
I won't know what to do...
When she tells me that last goodbye,
I'll whisper,"I already miss you.."

How can I find a way to your heart ?

Its all I have been thinking of..
I want you in my life..
I feel devastated..
All I can think of is hollowness and pain..
Deep in my soul..
There is no dying light..
But a strong being prepared to fight..
I am sitting here all alone..
Trying to convince myself that..
I am not losing you..
My soul is lost in a never ending fight..
There is a chill in my bones..
That keep me close..
Close to your dreams..
As mad as it seems..
I know I am supposed to be strong..
I am going to Smile..
And make you think I am happy..
I am going to laugh so you don't see me cry..

Still waiting for u

I keep looking in all the places,
Where you are supposed to be.
But I never seem to find you,
And you're all I long to see.

I just can't seem to understand,
What it was that changed your mind.
All this time I thought I knew you,
When really, I was blind.

Even though you hurt me,
I can't seem to let you go.
But I will go on without you,
And I want to make sure you know.

It will take some time to mend,
The damage that you've done.
But broken hearts do heal,
That's where strength comes from.

For now, the tears may be falling,
And my thoughts keep circling to you.
But soon, things will get better,
If you have hope, then they always do......

I feel lonely, very lonely

Lonely on the land I walk..
Lonely are the nights..
Lonely are the days..
Lonely and empty..
A lonely star in the night sky..
Alone in the walks of life..
A lonely day..
A lonely tear falls down..
I am lonely and I am scared..
Only one star graces the blue sky..
As lonely as me..
Hold my hand..
I feel lonely, very lonely...

how much she means to me..

I want her to know how much she
means to me..
But its very hard being in love and
make others see..
I am sitting in the corner..
No words..always quiet..A loner..
Here I am thinking in my head..
All the negative things I have said..
This is not real me..
It definitely cannot be..
I will stay forever here with you..My
Love..
The softly spoken words you gave me..
Even after my deep grave..
You will find a reason to blame me..
Sitting here thinking of old times..
I find myself beginning to smile..

Feelings are bullshit

Before meeting me..Your thoughts..
My love should be a perfect guy..
He should love me more than I will do..
He should never make me cry..
He should always understand me..

After you met me..Your thoughts..
So what if he is not perfect,he is still the best for me..
So what if he doesn't love me..I will love him unconditionally..
So what if he is not understanding..I will understand him..
Adjust with him because I can't afford to lose him..

After you are done with me..your thoughts..
I don't want you anymore..
I have moved on with my life..
Feelings are bullshit..
I am not the same but I still care for you..
I will welcome you as my friend..
You never understand me..
Move on with your life..

After all these three stages..
All I have to say my love for You increases with every breath I take.. I smile..just wishing You might fall in Love with me again..

Is ThIs LoVe!!!

While ur ignoring him/her,
there sum1 giving full attention..

While ur giving him/her a problem,
there sum1 giving a perfect solution..

While u have no time for him/her,
there sum1 offering a quality tym..

While ur making him/her cry,
there sum1 can do everything to see his/her happy..

While ur still a doubt if u really love him/her,
there sum1 100% sure enough..

Show ur love for him/her,
coz there sum1 will do anything just to be with ur love...

I ηєє∂ уσυ

I NEED YOU

I ηєє∂ уσυ ιη тιмєѕ Of Pαιη,
Of fєαя Aη∂ ѕтяєѕѕ,
Eνєη тσ ѕмιℓє ιη му нαρριηєѕѕ тσσ,

I ηєє∂ уσυ тσ ѕнαяє му נσуѕ,
Tσ ѕнαяє му тєαяѕ Tσσ Wιтн Yσυ,

I ηєє∂ уσυ тσ нσℓ∂ ση & вє ѕтяσηg,
Wнєη тнιηgѕ αяє gσιηg ωяσηg,

I ηєє∂ уσυ тσ кєєρ тнє fαιтн
& тяυѕт & яємιη∂ ωнαт єм!

I ηєє∂ уσυ
σηℓу fσя тωσ Tιмєѕ.
Nσω & Aℓωαys.!!

"Cause you're amazing just The wAy you Are !!"

I attempt to merge with my
surroundings..
To be ignored..unnoticed..silent..voice
rarely heard..
My lips move but no words come out..
My pain..my loneliness..
Frequently unrecognized..
Seldom understood..
Drunk..dizzy..sleepy..depressed..
This is what I am- A Mess.!!
Feeling down..trying to change..
You hit me Hard..but still I am dealing
with it..
I want everything back to the way it
was before..
Come to me and you will see me
smiling..
But..
"Behind My Smile There Is Everything
You Will Never Understand"

Sweet School Memories ♥

¤ Polishing white shoes with Chalk :P .

¤ Hoping that P.T days aren't Holidays :D

¤ Checking if teacher comes with Answer sheets after Exam :3 .

¤ Keeping quite when Principal passes by Classroom ;) .

¤ Hiding behind friends when Teacher asks questions (~_^) .

¤ Prayer Song, National Anthem :) .

¤ First Love ♥ .

¤ Sleeping with Books (-__-)

Like & Share If You Miss yOur SchOol Days =)) ♥

Were you ever there

I toss and turn in my sleep
Thoughts of you in my mind
Slowly creep

Your indifference
... Gets me so
I can’t seem to let go

Your warmth
Your tight embrace
Your smiling face

They haunt my thoughts
I can’t forget
I still haven’t heard from you yet

My friends console
Tell me to move on
I can’t seem to let go

Your lack of care
Your silence
Were you ever there....:'(

"Holding on to Nothing"

My heart aches when I think of our memories
because then i had you and you had me
its when the heart gives but does not receive
that it hurts the most
i live for the times you still kiss me
even if it means nothing to you
for that short period of time
i can pretend you are once again mine
and I’ll replay that kiss again and again
until you are more than just a friend
and until our lips again meet
and my heart will then continue to beat
its those moments i feel like we are together again
that i am happy
its this feeling I crave that I’ve only felt with you
a love that is real a love that is true
you had me at hello
and still do at goodbye
but why my heart needs you, i haven’t a clue why

For Your Love 50 Romantic Things

1. Watch the sun set together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands.
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7.  Give Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie.
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each others eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt with each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deals.
24. Spaghetti (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she’s fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses calling them every 5 minutes
30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, "Sweet Heart ."